Always Have, Always Will
by teamnair
Summary: Nate, the boy that Blair had wanted since the moment she first saw him. The one that she imagined herself marrying and growing old with. Blair, the girl that Nate had loved with all of his heart. The one that he would always protect. Something had always been in the way, but now could they finally have a second chance at love?
1. An Old Friend to the Rescue

**Blair's POV -**

I take a couple of deep breaths, and lean my head against my silk pillow stuffed with only the softest of feathers, but it doesn't offer the slightest bit of comfort to the pain I'm feeling. Glancing around the room, I take in my surroundings. The only clue to the awful incident that happened last night, the only indication that it hadn't just been the worst nightmare of my life was the long expensive gown that I had worn to confront Jack, thrown carelessly on the floor. I had felt so conflicted yesterday, I had seen how distraught Chuck was over losing the hotel to his Uncle even though he had tried not to show it. I couldn't let him feel that way, knowing that I could put a stop to it, even though the price was sleeping with Jack. When Jack told me that Chuck had chosen his hotel over me, it was like I couldn't even comprehend what he was saying, I refused to believe it. It was just Jack lying, to try and cause a rift between Chuck and I. But when I saw Chuck, and he admitted it, acting like it wasn't even that big a deal that he had sold me for his hotel, I felt my heart just break. I had cried myself to sleep yesterday, but now the tears wouldn't come. I just felt numb, empty. I sit up and am about to pull myself out of bed, but then I think _what's the point. Once I leave my room, I'm just going to have to face my problems. At least my bed offered some refuge. _But before I can contemplate it further, I hear a tentative knock at the door.

I turn around to see Nate step out, _Chuck probably sent him. Or Serena. _"Great. He sent good cop," I mumble.

Nate shakes his head. "Chuck didn't send me."

"Serena," I retort, _it's not like I can tell her what happened. She wouldn't understand. She and Nate have it so easy. Besides she wouldn't know what I'm going through, no guy would ever dream about trading her for a hotel. Everyone she ever met immediately adored her; Chuck wouldn't have waited months and months before telling her he loved her. It was just me, it seemed. _"Look… we're concerned about our best friends and whatever he did… I'm sure you can find a suitable punishment for him." Nate explained.

"There is no punishment for what he did." I reply.

"You're Blair Waldorf, punishment is your middle name," Nate says dryly, sitting down on the bed next to me. "Just tell me what happened," he continued softly.

"I can't tell anyone, it's too awful."

"There's no such thing as too awful between friends. We don't judge, remember? We can forgive anything." Nate says, looking at me.

I look down, wincing. "You can't tell anyone, especially not Serena.

"Not a soul," Nate declares. "I promise."

"What did Chuck tell you about how he got his hotel back?" I inquire, looking up at him again.

"He didn't, he just said money solves everything." Nate shrugs.

"Well, he didn't use money… He used me. As a trade"

Nate looks confused for a second, and then laughs', thinking it's too crazy to be true. _I would think it too crazy to be true as well. _"Come on, no way."

"He set me up to sleep with Jack in exchange for his beloved Empire," I spit out bitterly. "So now do you see why I couldn't tell anyone?" Nate just stares incredulously, taking it in.

"Oh my god," he utters under his breath.

**Nate's POV**

Blair and I walk down the stairs, as I send out a quick text to Serena. "Thank you for keeping my secret," she says. "Hey, no problem," I say, and I mean it. _I'm glad Blair confided in me, I missed her. And even though she was with Chuck… or wherever her and Chuck stood right now and I was with Serena, I still missed having her in my life. _"I'm just going to tell Serena to hold off on the interrogation of you and -"

"Chuck," Blair interrupts. I look up, to see Chuck staring back at us.

"MISS BLAIR, I AM GETTING MARRIED!" Dorota squeals.

"Of course you are," she says back.

"I mean tomorrow!" Dorota explains excitedly. "Mister Chuck is throwing us traditional Polish Russian wedding. He said you two back together."

"He did?" Blair grimaces, staring pointedly at Chuck.

"Which is best news ever, traditional wedding must have happy couple escort bride and groom into chapel." Dorota continues, beaming. "It's necessary for good luck in marriage. Please Miss Blair, Mister Chuck; will you be happy couple for Vanya and me?"

"Well, uh, I can't speak for Blair, but it would be my great pleasure."

I watched the scene unfold in front of me, seeing the conflict on Blair's face. She obviously didn't want to escort Dorota and Vanya to the chapel with Chuck, but she didn't want to let Dorota down at the same time. Seeing Blair bite her lip, I feel a strong sense of protectiveness over her. I feel angry at Chuck, for what he did._ I can't believe I felt sorry for him, but most of all I can't believe he could hurt Blair like that._ Before I can object however, Blair nods reluctantly and murmurs that she'll do it and then Dorota, Chuck, Eleanor, Cyrus and I watch her turn and leave the room.

**Blair's POV**

****I watch the wedding planning chaos, with my Mom bossing everyone around and Dorota's frantic excitement. _Usually I love weddings, but it's different today. I should be happy for Dorota and Vanya, but I just feel horrible for myself, I know that probably makes me selfish, but right now all I want to do is escape back up to my bedroom. _Suddenly, I hear footsteps behind me and Chuck's voice lilts into my ear. "You look like you need a task."

"What I need is a Zofran. All this disingenuous generosity is making me want to vomit." I retort.

"There's nothing disingenuous about it. I'm happy I can give Dorota and Vanya the dream wedding that they deserve."

I roll my eyes. "The only reason you're giving it is so you can spend time with me. You know weddings are my weakness."

Chuck smirks. "Really? It never occurred to me." I want to wipe that infuriating smirk right off his face. _How can he think all this is amusing? After he hurt me like that?_ "Everything occurs to you, Chuck." Chuck reaches out to grab hold of me.

"Blair, you and I are magnetic. You can feel it. The pull is as undeniable as ever."

I stare back at him, wanting to believe him. To forget about all of it, but as much as I want to, I can't. "It's different this time."

"It doesn't have to be. I love you. Saying it was hard but I did and I've never looked back. So now I'm asking you, please do this for me. Please forgive me."

I pull away. "I'm sorry, I can't," and walk off.

**Nate's POV**

A waiter walks up to me, with a tray laden with pastries. "Would you like a croissant?"she asks politely. "Yeah, thanks." I say, taking one. Blair walks up to me, "Hey," she says, "What are you doing?" I look up at her, and smile, gesturing to the croissant in my hand. "Just eating. What about you?"

She shrugs. "Just watching the wedding planning."

"Why aren't you helping? You love planning weddings!" I say, smiling.

"I guess I'm just not into it right now." I give her a sympathetic smile and give her hand a squeeze. She smiles back. "Thank you," she whispers. "For what?" I ask. She shrugs.

"For this. For cheering me up. You know talking to you made me feel a whole lot better." She keeps looking at me and then lets go of my hand.

"I should probably go see whether my Mom needs any help."

"Okay, I reply," watching her leave. And as I watch her retreating back, I realize that talking to her made me feel a whole lot better too.


	2. Dorota's Wedding

**Blair's POV**

I sit on the bathtub in my bathroom and watch as Serena applies her makeup, looking in the full length mirror. "Isn't this so exciting? Dorota getting married, I mean?" she sighs happily. I nod noncommittally, not really listening to her. Serena turns around and gives me a look, "Are you okay? You usually adore weddings." I plaster a fake smile on my face, and try my best to look excited. "What are you talking about? I'm fine," I protest. She rolls her eyes and comes over to sit next to me.

"You're my best friend Blair, I know when something's wrong. Is this to do with you and Chuck? What happened between the two of you anyway?"

"Nothing happened, it doesn't matter. Let's just drop it, okay?" Serena keeps looking concerned, until finally she does drop it and returns back to her lipstick. I hear my phone buzz and I take it out to glance at the screen. There's a text from Nate:

**See you at the wedding soon?**

I quickly type back **yeah, can't wait to see you in your tux ;) **and put it back in my clutch purse. I wriggle into my Diane von Furstenberg lacy bridesmaid dress and shove my feet into a pair of Burberry metallic leather studded bow heels. Serena and I start twirling around in front of the mirror, like we used to where we were little. After we calm down, Serena starts pulling me along with her out of the room. "Let's go. We don't want to be late."

We arrive at the wedding reception a little while later, Serena immediately goes off to talk to someone she knows. The place looks absolutely gorgeous, with clusters of pink, red and white roses gathered everywhere. I see my Mom laughing with some woman wearing a dress by Waldorf Designs. I call her name, and she turns around, slightly annoyed to be interrupted from her conversation. "What is it, Blair?" she asks.

"Do you know where Dorota is? I need to talk to her about something."

"Here, follow me." She shoots the woman she was talking to an apologetic smile, and leads me to a room where Dorota is having her hair and makeup done by some professionals, courtesy of my Mom and Cyrus. My mom shuts the door behind her, when she leaves. "Dorota?" I say, sitting down next to her.

"Yes, Miss Blair?"

"I can't… I… The truth is Chuck and I didn't get back together so we can't be the happy couple for you and Vanya. I'm so sorry, but I can't let your marriage be jinxed." All of the words that I had kept inside since the minute Dorota asked Chuck and I to be the happy couple for her and Vanya's wedding, rush out of me. Dorota gives me a reassuring smile, and shakes her head. "I don't need you to be happy couple, Miss Blair. I just need you to be _happy." _She leans over and gives me a hug. I hug her back, but I make sure not to squash her wedding dress.

Soon enough, the actual wedding ceremony is over and people start mingling around. I can see Dorota and Vanya dancing together, looking happier than I've ever seen them. I scan the room, looking through the sea of faces to find a familiar one. Serena's over at a table, giggling about something or other with a friend of hers that I don't know. My eyes keep sweeping over everyone, and I finally spot Nate. I walk over to him but he's facing away from me so I tap him on the shoulder.

**Nate's POV**

I turn around and find Blair, looking absolutely stunning staring back at me. "Hey Blair, you look beautiful."

"Well, you look pretty dapper yourself." She grins at me and hands me a flute of champagne. We both clink our glasses together and down the drink. "Do you want to dance?" I ask, holding out a hand. She takes it and we walk over to the dance floor. I put my arms around her waist, while she puts her arms around my neck. "I'm really happy for Dorota and Vanya," I remark, looking over at their beaming faces, Blair nods in agreement. Suddenly she sucks in a sharp breath and stiffens in my arms; I look down at her concerned. "What is it?" I follow her line of direction and see Chuck smirking at us. Blair looks away, but I hold his gaze, glaring at him, until he stops staring at us to watch a young attractive waitress pass by. I shake my head disgusted. I twirl Blair around so that she doesn't have to look at him. The string quartet finally stops playing, and are replaced by a band that starts playing "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake. "I remember you used to love Justin Timberlake," I smile. She grins.

"Remember when we were at that karaoke party with Serena when we were young, and I made you sing a Justin Timberlake song with me?" she laughs.

"I think I sang it even better than Justin Timberlake himself," I chuckle. Blair pulls a face at me, and shakes her head. "No, you didn't. You sounded AWFUL!" she protests. I pretend to look deeply offended. "What are you talking about?"

"You are many things Nate Archibald, but a good singer isn't one of them."

"What am I then?" I ask, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Well… I guess you're a pretty good dancer," she admits reluctantly. I dip her as if to make a point.

"Wow, a compliment from Blair Waldorf… I hear those are pretty rare" I respond teasingly, she laughs in response. "Don't make me regret saying it Archibald, your head is big enough already." I ignore her and start dancing ridiculously; doing something that strangely resembles an Irish jig. People start giving us strange looks, and her laugh turns into a full-blown guffaw and soon we're both laughing loudly. By now, the entire room is watching us, including Chuck who I notice has practically charmed the pants off of the waitress that he was watching. I lead Blair away from the wedding, so we don't disrupt anyone. We start walking down a path.

For a minute, we're silent. I start thinking about how much I'd like to punch Chuck in the face, for doing what he did to Blair, but then I realize how am I any different? I remember Blair going out of her way to be the best girlfriend possible for me and I hadn't even seemed to notice. Then how I had slept with Serena while I was with Blair and how I had felt like complete shit for so many months after that.

"Blair?" I hear myself saying.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

She shoots me a confused look. "For what?"

"For cheating on you, for not appreciating you while I still had you. I realize I haven't really apologized for that... so I'm sorry."

"It's okay... I forgave you a long time ago… But thanks, for apologizing." She gives me a grateful smile. Suddenly I feel better, like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. It's starting to get dark out, and people from the wedding are starting to leave. "We should probably get back," she says and leads the way.

**Blair's POV**

Nate helps me into my coat, "always the gentleman," I say, playfully nudging him. He grins and gives a mock bow. "Hey, would you want to come back with me? We could just hang out like old times."

"I'd love to," I reply.

A little while later, Nate and I are lying on the sofa, watching a movie. There's a box of macaroons, that I made the driver stop for on the way back, in my lap. I'm leaning my head against Nate and he has his arm around me. It feels familiar. Comforting.

Suddenly we hear a loud thud and a moan, I look behind me alarmed. Chuck appears, attached to some waitress who I saw at Dorota's wedding. They don't even seem to notice Nate or I as they stumble into Chuck's bedroom. Nate looks at me worriedly, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." _And I realize with some surprise, I actually really do feel alright, and I realize that Nate is a big reason for that._


	3. Shopping, Scrabble & Sudden Realizations

**Blair's POV**

I awoke to the various mingling aromas of breakfast pastries wafting into my nose. I had come back quite early the next morning after a night of talking and laughing with Nate. After the loud sex noises coming from Chuck's bedroom had become too much for both of us, we had gone to a nearby cafe and just talked. Talked about everything. What we had missed in each other's lives to reminiscing about the past. The care free atmosphere of last night however had seemed to vanish however, as the full force of what had happened hit me. Chuck had slept with that slutty waitress girl. _Ugh, I hated him. I hated him. I hated him_. I threw a pillow violently against the wall, as if it would somehow impact Chuck. Letting out an aggravated sound of disgust and pent up frustration, I then slid out of my bed and trudged into the bathroom to get ready.

After I had selected a ruffled floral print silk blouse top and paired it with a pencil skirt, lacy tights and a pair of strappy heels, grabbed my quilted Chanel clutch, I walked downstairs to find my Mom and Cyrus dining at the table with Dorota setting down a tray of food. I took a seat with them, and started eating a slice of French toast. My mom diverted her attention from her cell phone to look over at me. "God Blair, you look AWFUL. Did you get ANY sleep?" I suddenly felt irritated, _it was like my Mom always had to pinpoint what was wrong with me. _

"I got enough sleep," I answered sullenly. My mom raises an eyebrow at me, but then returns back to talking with Cyrus and ignoring me. I gulp down the rest of my breakfast and then get up and leave, and my fingers fly across my phone's keyboard as I send a text to Serena.

**I'll be over at your place soon, hope you don't mind **

She replies almost immediately, **Of course I don't mind B, I'll see you soon then**

Once I arrive, I notice Jenny talking with Eric. I make my way toward them. They glance up at me, "Oh hey Blair," Eric waves. I shoot him a smile as way of saying hello. I take in Jenny's appearance, and wrinkle my nose. "Oh Jenny, I wish you wouldn't wear those horrible fishnets all the time." She gives me a dry smile.

"Nice to see you too Blair," she says sarcastically.

I shrug, "Do you guys know where Serena is?"

Jenny gestures upstairs. "She's up there. By the way, congratulate Dorota for me." After I promise that I will, I head upstairs, looking for Serena's telltale head of tousled blonde waves. I see her sitting on her bed, typing on her laptop. She stands up when she sees me though, "Blair!" she gives me a hug. She's wearing a cream colored sweater dress, exposing the usual amount of cleavage, and a pair of black open toed heels. "Hey," I smile and sit down on the bed.

"Where were you last night? I couldn't find you at Dorota's wedding," she questions, letting herself fall next to me.

"Oh... I was um, hanging out with Nate," I reply.

"Nate?" her brow furrows "What were you doing?" I give her a nonchalant shrug.

"Not really anything, I guess. He's just helping me through the whole breakup with Chuck." She nods sympathetically and squeezes my hand. For a moment, we just stay silent until Serena declares that she's going to help get my mind off Chuck. "Shopping?" I suggest hopefully. A little retail therapy never hurt anyone. "Whatever you want. Today is officially about you." She gives me a real honest to good Serena van der Woodsen grin, and it's impossible not to smile back.

**Nate's POV**

I peer my head into Dan's fridge. "Dude, you have nothing to eat in here," I remark. Dan gets off the couch to walk over and look into the fridge as well. After only finding an empty carton of orange juice, he starts rummaging in some cabinets and manages to find some cereal. "There, have some cereal." I roll my eyes at him and put the cereal back. "I'm starved, can't we just go over to Lily's? I'm sure your Dad's made some waffles or something." Dan chuckles, and finally relents and sighs "fine, let's go. I have to talk to my Dad about something anyway."

We get there about ten minutes later, and I make a beeline for the fridge and help myself to the food. Jenny and Eric are peering over something on Eric's laptop, and Dan heads to talk to his Dad upstairs. After I've eaten, I sit down next to Eric to see what they're looking at: Gossip Girl. "Anything particularly interesting or news breaking?" I ask dryly.

"Nope, and by the way, did you just come over to steal food from us?" Eric laughs.

"Yeah Nate, there are plenty of nice restaurants around here. Ever heard of those?" Jenny adds sarcastically.

"What? Maybe I particularly wanted Rufus' waffles?" I defend myself. Eric snorts. Dan comes back downstairs a moment later, "How about a game of Scrabble?" he asks.

I shake my head, "You Humphrey's and your board games."

**Blair's POV**

Serena and I go up the elevator to her place, our arms loaded down with shopping bags. "Well, that was fun," Serena smiles. I nod in agreement. When the elevator door finally dings open, the sight of Eric, Jenny, Dan and Nate poring over a game of Scrabble greets me. Serena and I both walk out. "Are you guys seriously playing Scrabble?" Serena questions.

"Yeah, don't you guys have _lives?" _I continue.

Nate grins cheekily over at me, "Come on Blair, you know you want to join us."

"As if," I retort, placing my shopping bags on the couch.

Serena lowers her voice into a laughing whisper, "you guys... Blair's actually a secret Scrabble-holic." Eric and Jenny snicker, and Dan decides to join in too and mockingly teases "Maybe you shouldn't be around us Blair, the temptation to play could be too much."

"Oh shut up Humphrey." Nate laughs, and then suddenly stands up and reaches out to grab me. "You WILL play Scrabble with us Blair Cornelia Waldorf," he shouts, trying not to laugh. I push him away and then he starts chasing after me, up the stairs and I'm squealing like a little kid and race up the stairs as fast as my legs will take me. "You will NEVER catch me Archibald!" I yell as if we're 8 year olds playing a game of Tag. I run into Serena's room, and try to slam the door into his face, giggling, but he's too strong and he starts pushing against the door and he manages to get inside and I scream, caught up in the moment, and I tear across the room and jump onto Serena's bed but then Nate jumps after me and then we're rolling together on the bed until we stop. Him on top of me, just two layers of clothing separating us. I'm panting heavily, trying to catch my breath, but then I'm aware that he can feel every breath that I take and I'm suddenly conscious of how close we are and I can't breathe but not because he's on top of me but because he's staring at me. His face inches from mine. _And oh lord is he leaning in? Is he going to kiss me?! _but then I see Rufus and Lily peer their head's in the room, looking concerned. "What was all that commotion?" Lily asks, and then sees us and stops short. I roll quickly away from underneath Nate and stand up, trying to calm down and push my hair away from my face. "Nothing, Nate was just chasing me," I answer breathlessly.

"Okaaay," Rufus answers skeptically, and the four of us go downstairs, me trailing behind them, my mind racing as fast as my heart, wondering what the hell just happened.

**Nate's POV**

A couple minutes later, we're all downstairs and Dan, Jenny, Eric and Rufus who took my spot are all playing Scrabble with Blair next to Serena watching the game. Lily's making herself a cup of tea, and I'm slouched on a sofa, thinking. Just thinking. But all I can think about is Blair. _Would I have kissed her if Lily and Rufus hadn't interrupted? But I can't like Blair, I'm with Serena. I _love _Serena, I shouldn't be kissing Blair. This makes absolutely no sense. Blair and I broke up _twice _already. _

I become aware that Blair is staring at me, but when she realizes that I've noticed, she turns away and stares intently at the game, pretending to be really interested in Eric's next move.

_I think I would have kissed Blair if I had the chance, _I thought, and then suddenly the realization that I still wanted to kiss Blair hit me.


	4. A Kiss Before Lying

**Nate's POV**

I rub the sleepiness out of my heavy eyes, I still feel tired and it's not just because I had a restless sleep but because I have so much on my mind. Things I shouldn't even be worrying about keep plaguing me and my thoughts, enabling me to focus on anything. Suddenly Serena emerges into my room, holding two cups of coffee from Starbucks. She laughs a little when she sees me, still lying down in my bed and sits down next to me after setting the coffee cups on the bedside table. "What are you still doing in bed?" she demands, an accusatory tone in her voice, one eyebrow raised. She doesn't let me answer however, and instead reaches for one of the cups and hands it to me. "This should help you wake up a little," she smiles. I take it in one hand and lift it to my dry lips and allow the hot caffeinated drink roll down the back of my throat. Once I feel more awake, I sit up in bed and grin at her. "Hey. Thanks for bringing the coffee."

"No problem," she assures me, and leans forward to capture her lips with mine. After I finish the coffee and get dressed, we both stand up from the bed and walk out to find Chuck lounging around on the couch in a purple paisley silk robe, reading the newspaper, holding a glass of some kind of booze. A quiet ping pierces the quiet, and Serena reaches into her studded black handbag to bring out her cell phone, she types back a response and then turns to me apologetically. "I have to go... help Blair with something," she explains. I nod and she quickly walks out, stuffing her phone back in her purse. I face Chuck, "Isn't it a little early in the day to be drinking?" I say disapprovingly. Chuck doesn't appear to notice my distaste and shrugs, "Everything's more fun with a buzz." He gets up and walks over to the bar only to refill his glass. I roll my eyes, and trudge out the door.

**Blair's POV**

I stare at myself in the full length mirror in my closet, turning this way and that, making sure I look good. A 5"5 girl with lightly curled brown hair stares back at me, wearing a purple and white scoop-neck dress, and strappy gold heels. I fasten gold disc drop earrings to my earlobes and slide on a beaded coil bracelet and a turquoise cluster ring. I teeter over to the bathroom and leaning into the vanity mirror, I put on foundation and apply mascara and some pale pink eye shadow to my eyes. Afterwards I start dabbing a soft pink blush on my cheeks and swipe some lip gloss on my lips.

After I make sure that I look my best, I walk downstairs to the kitchen to help myself to some Danish pastries and a fruit smoothie. I sit down on the island table, and reach for my laptop which happens to by lying nearby to open up Gossip Girl. As soon as the page loads, a picture sits smack dab on the screen of a beaming Serena buying crepes at a food stand with Dan _Humphrey _no less. I almost spit out the mouthful of smoothie I am about to swallow, and stare in horror at the awful sight before me. I scroll down the page to see the caption that accompanied the picture "Naughty naughy Serena. I wonder... does Nate know about this not so secret rendezvous in the park with your former lover? Maybe I'm being too paranoid and it's just two old friends meeting up or maybe I'm not and it's actually two old _flames _rekindling the romance that they once shared not too long ago. Hope Nate won't get too jealous..."

I hurry over to my glossy white purse with silver clasps and take out my phone, and open up a text to Serena. "Ick, why are you with Humphrey of all people right now? Check Gossip Girl ASAP to see what she's saying about you!" and click send. I let out a pent up sigh, feeling a pang of worry for Nate and what he'll make of all this. Speaking of Nate and our almost kiss yesterday, I should probably stop by and clear the air. _I mean our friendship was way too valuable to be lost over some stupid kiss... and wait nothing had even happened! So I had probably just imagined the whole thing! _or so I hoped.

**Nate's POV**

I hear the elevator door ding open, and I wonder if it's Serena finally back from Blair's or maybe Chuck who had left just half an hour earlier saying he had something to do. Neither apparently, since Blair walks out and stands awkwardly a few feet away. We're silent for a moment, the only sound the TV that I had been watching before. "What are you doing here?" I finally manage to ask her. She swallows, and then clears her throat. "I... um... just wanted to clear the air about something..." _Oh God, I know what's coming next. _"Maybe I just imagined everything, I don't know... but yesterday I just felt like... uh... you were about to... um..." _Well this was a first, _I think to myself slightly amused, _for the first time ever Blair Waldorf is stumbling over words and doesn't know what to say. _

"Kiss you?" I ask, finishing her faltering sentence.

"Yeah." She nods. For a minute the air is filled with an uncomfortable silence, she stares at me, maybe wanting me to say something but when I don't she clears her throat again. "I just... think that for the sake of our friendship, we should just, um, forget that it ever happened...?" her statement trails off so it sounds more like a question.

_"But_ I don't want to," I reply, and I don't. I don't want to forget wanting to kiss her. I don't want to forget about any of it. Blair furrows her brows together, this conversation it seemed, had taken a different turn than she had expected.

Our conversation gets cut short however when the elevator dings open again, and Serena walks out. I suddenly remember that Serena was supposed to be at Blair's and if so why was Blair here. "Where have you been?" I ask her.

"I told you, at Blair's," she says, but then suddenly sees Blair standing next to me and backtracks. "I mean I _was _at Blair's, I left and got stuck in traffic." The small look that she gives Blair to make sure that she doesn't say anything is unmistakable. "I know you weren't at Blair's," I mutter. She seems at a loss for words, but Blair cuts in. "She was with Dan."

**Blair's POV**

It had gotten too much for me and I had blurted out that she had been with Dan without thinking, but it wasn't as if Nate wouldn't have found out. Everyone checked Gossip Girl, so even if he didn't see it there himself, he would probably have talked to someone that had. Nate just looked confused, "Why did you say you were at Blair's if you were with Dan?" he asks, the hurt in his voice prominent in his question.

"I... don't know," is all Serena can say.

"Well I think you do know, you just don't want to tell me. Are you seeing him or something?" Nate presses.

"Of course not! I just needed to talk to someone about something going on and Dan was there."

"Why couldn't you have just come to me? I'm your boyfriend, I should be the person you come to about these things, not _Dan."_

_"_I know... it's just whenever I talk to you for advice, you always find some way to blame me for what's going on."

"That's not true, and you know it!" Nate's voice rises up to a shout and continues, "I'm actually trying to _help_ you with the problem, not just agree with everything you say like Dan does."

"How can you even say that?!" Serena shrieks. All I can do is watch uneasily from where I stand, at the scene unfolding in front of me.

"I can say that, because it's the truth. Do you even _want _to be in this relationship?" Serena doesn't say anything for a while and then closes her eyes and lets out a long breath, as if trying to gather up the courage to do what she does next.

"No. No I don't." And with those four words, she spins on her heel and walks right out the room and into the elevator.


	5. The Perfect Storm

**Nate's POV**

I stare at the ceiling, with my arms crossed behind my head, trying to drown out the groans of pleasure emitting from Chuck's room. Eventually I get up off my bed and head for the built in bar, and pour myself a drink. _God knows I need it. It's not like I have anyone to talk to, not Chuck, who has a different woman in his bed every night, not Blair who has been pointedly avoiding me since I admitted that I had wanted to kiss her, definitely not Dan - he's part of the reason Serena and I are broken up - so it seems liquor's my only option._

I tilt my head back, and let the drink wash down my throat. I barely hear the door opening and closing behind me, and the sound of footsteps approaching. "We didn't disturb you, did we?" I turn around, and see Chuck, a saccharine smile on his lips. "I heard about you and Serena on Gossip Girl, can't say I'm too sorry. You're much more fun when you're single," he continues smoothly. He steps forward and pours himself a drink. I shoot him a look. Chuck sets his now empty glass on the counter and gestures behind him, to the two girls clad only in skimpy lingerie. "This is... well who really cares what their names are. All that matters is that they'll get your mind off of anything, trust me." He lets out a dry laugh. "You're welcome to them, I don't mind sharing."  
I shake my head, "That's fine. I'm good," I answer, the sarcasm dripping in my voice. Chuck shrugs and turns around, heading back to the bedroom.  
"Suit yourself, and please girls, make yourselves comfortable." he calls back, and shuts the door. I glance warily as the two girls settle themselves on the couch.  
Letting out a pent up sigh, I run my hands through my hair, and decide to get some fresh air outside. I grab my coat and head towards the door.

Half an hour later, I'm sitting on a park bench, watching the people pass by. It's chilly, an abnormally cold day for the end of September. I hear a familiar voice behind me, "Nate? What are you doing here?" I whip my head to the sound of the voice, it's Blair, not that I needed to look to know who it was. Dorota's standing behind her, a loaf of bread in her hands. I lift my shoulders in a shrug, "Just went for a walk. What about you?"  
She points impatiently towards the bread Dorota's carrying. "I come here once a week to feed the ducks remember?" Dorota glances back and forth, from Blair to me, and seems to sense some tension so she retreats, leaving Blair and I alone. For a minute, there's an uncomfortable silence, before Blair sits down next to me, and clears her throat awkwardly. "How are you?" she asks, looking at me, concern written on her face.  
"Okay, and you?" I reply.  
"I'm good.. um have you talked to Serena lately? You know, since you two..." her voice trails off with uncertainty.  
"Since we broke up?" I finish for her, and laugh bitterly. "I actually tried calling her, to see if we could work things out, but she's been ignoring me." I turn my head to face her square on, taking in her wind-tousled locks and her brown doe eyes. "You've been ignoring me as well," I continue, not taking my gaze off of her.  
"I've been... busy," she explains, twisting her hands together.  
"You've been avoiding me," I correct her, giving her a wry look. She doesn't meet my eyes, instead she looks away; looks at the ground, looks at the sleeve of her coat, looks around the park at the few people around. Anywhere but at me. "What did you expect?" she finally sighs, "Look, you and Serena are figuring things out. This shouldn't involve me."  
"Serena and I are finished."  
"Nate..." She sounds pained.  
I take her hand, but she quickly pulls away. I plunder on, "What I said a couple days ago, about wanting to kiss you. I meant that."  
I see her digging her nails into her palm, and her next words are clipped and short. "Nate, you're still not over Serena. You don't know what you're saying."  
The words fly out of my mouth, before I can stop them. "The truth is I've been over Serena for a long time."  
It's a while before she answers back. "Why are you telling me this?"  
"I'm telling you this because... I still have feelings for you. And if you can honestly look me straight in the eye and tell me you feel nothing for me, then I'll stop bothering you."  
Blair stands up suddenly, her eyes narrowed. I look at her startled, confused. "Why would you put me in the position where I have to choose between my _best friend _and someone that I might have lusted after for just a minute? What's happening is you're still not over Serena, it's putting you in a weird head space and now you're just saying things that you would never say normally. Just make up your mind! You're with me then you sleep with Serena. You're with Serena, and you apparently still feel something for me... You and Serena will get back together, and everything will go back to normal so please leave me alone... " She spins around and marches toward Dorota before I can say another word.

**Blair's POV**

I stare listlessly at my laptop screen, scrolling down Gossip Girl, without really taking anything in. I feel terrible; my head's pounding, my gut's twisting horribly and my eyes are burning. Dorota is buzzing around me, worried. "Are you okay Miss Blair?" she asks me.  
"Yes, I'm fine Dorota! For god's sake, can you please just leave!" I snap at her, my anger and annoyance just bubbling over. Quickly, I swivel my head around, regretting what I said. Dorota shoots me a wounded look and leaves, even though I call after her. Sighing, I turn around. _It's like I haven't been able to do anything right lately.  
_On Gossip Girl, a picture from yesterday, of Dan and Serena at some coffee place in Brooklyn_ -__ew- _is displayed on the page. Serena has a happy smile on her face and Dan has his arm around her waist. For the past few days, Gossip Girl had been posting pictures of them nonstop, apparently they had spent the weekend together. When I had gone over to Serena's house, looking for her, Lily told me that she was staying at a friend's house, presumably Dan's. I pick up my phone, and type out yet another text to Serena.  
**"Can you please call me? We need to talk. -B."  
**All of the other texts I had sent her recently had been unanswered. I didn't know if she was intentionally trying to avoid me, but I just had to talk to her and smooth everything out. My phone starts buzzing, I pick it up and glance at the new text. Thankfully it's from Serena:  
**"Sorry I've been busy. I agree, tomorrow for breakfast? 8 o clock? :) - S" **I send her a reply saying yes and then I turn off my phone and turn back to my computer screen. There isn't anything too interesting, so I turn it off as well. I fiddle around, not knowing what to do, wanting to keep busy. Since I had gotten home from the walk in the park, I had taken a bubble bath, painted my nails, read some old issues of Vogue and did some online shopping. I just had to get out of her, go for a walk and clear my head. I reach for my wool coat and scarf and walk outside.

**Nate's POV**

I'm driving around, trying to get back home but it's impossible to see in this rain. Water droplets angrily rain down on my car, the windshield wipers feebly trying to help. I squint at a familiar figure running down the street... it's Blair. Should I just let her carry on, I mean after her angry rant earlier this morning, she had seemed like she never wanted to see me again. But I can see that she doesn't have an umbrella, and she looks like she's trying to get home as well. I pull up to the sidewalk, and roll down the window. "What are you doing out here in the rain?" I yell out to her.  
"Nate?" she sounds surprised to see me. "I was going for a walk, until it started raining. I didn't bring any money with me for a taxi," she calls out, the roar of the rain splashing down on the pavement making it hard to hear her. "Get in. I'll take you there," I say.  
She shakes her head quickly, "I'm good. I'll be fine."  
"Seriously, just get in!" I shout.  
"My house isn't too far away, I can walk," she retorts obstinately.  
"Get in Blair! I'm not kidding!"  
She keeps walking. _Why does she always have to be so stubborn? _I open the car door and run out after her, the rain pounds down on me, drenching me instantly. I grab her arm and spin her around. "Get in the car, I can drive you!"  
"I told you, I'm okay with walking."  
"In this rain?!" She nods, her lips pursed tightly, crossing her arms over her chest.

I stare at her for a second, watching the rain splattering over her. Even doused in rainwater, she looks beautiful. None of us says anything, the silence between us electrified, the tension palpable. She watches me, her eyes wide. For a second both of us stay still, silent. Then before I know what I'm doing, my arms encircle her slender waist and I lean forward, crashing my lips against hers. She doesn't do anything for a second, but then she kisses back just as fiercely, her hands tangling in my hair. I don't even feel the rain, all I can feel is her body pressed against mine, her fingers tugging through my hair. I hug her closer to me, kissing her harder.

When we finally pull away, I shoot a grin at her. "Looks like you do have feelings for me after all."


End file.
